Is it possible to cope with emotional pressures? Even when you feel dramatically burned out, overwhelmed, attached from every side? From my experience I can say there is a possibility to succeed.
Rule n 1: understand what’s inside and what’s outside yourself.
It seems granted but it’s really not. When you have someone around who is putting any kind of stress of you it’s automatic to feel very bad about it without thinking too much on it. This is because we take for granted all the things are happening come from that source of stress, the “guilty” of our bad day of experience. And of course the second person is playing a role but what about our role? What are we doing? Are we fighting that person, are we absorbing the bad vibes he/she is creating? No one is really forcing us to feel bad, that’s our personal reaction.
I think in this cases we need to acknowledge our feelings and to observe them. This trick takes the same amount of energy, or even less, than getting more and more angry and frustrated with who we are talking, doesn’t matter what he/she saying. So we will find out that actually no one is inside us controlling our emotional experience, there is only us. We are actually separated from the shouts and all the possible unpleasant things anyone can say.
Rule n 2: prioritise yourself.
It’s just a matter of priority. Where do you want to put your energy in: inside an argument or an unpleasant relationship/situation or rather keeping them in for better purpouses.
Sometimes this is not that easy, especially when there are a lot of emotions to handle or if the second person is very close to you. Then you need to make a choice, fighting or going back, like you are the head of an army. You know all your resources are extremely precious, wasting them means you could delay your victory. So is this a battle it’s necessary to fight for the highest good of your army?
I think sometimes we waste a lot of energies in situations that are not worth it. We do it automatically because shout calls shout, fire calls fire, and in the end everything will be burnt and no one will gain any benefit from that. Just to understand the difference between useful and useless fights would save us from a lot of dramas and troubles leading no where.
Rule n 3: stay away. If you cannot, stay centered.
If you recognise someone as a source of stress and negative vibes simply go away from him/her, avoid close and prolonged contacts as much as you can. Some of us are used to try once, twice, three times to fix a relationship, sacrifying time of life and inner peace. Sometimes the best way to do when we cannot undo a knot is to cut the thread.
Some other times this is not easy and immediately possible, especially when the second person is a family member. In this case, other than being as far as possible, it would be useful to stay centered: to listen but being aware of the difference between you and what the second person is saying about you. It means not letting bad opinions and bad words have space inside your mind and take energy from you. The best way to allow yourself to be centered is to apply the rule n 1, so listening about your emotions and thinking no one can actually push you this or that way. To be aware helps you to not give power on your emotional world to anyone else: there can be a temporary wind moving the surface of that ocean but in the end, when you close the window, the ocean will be calm again. It’s just matter of practice and responsibility: being responsible of our feelings is the essential base to build our life in the way we want rather than making others build the same life without any care.
I embrace you, with love.