They don’t understand me

1EFA4B24-E612-45CF-81C6-F12345B38915I am feeling alone

Misunderstandings are part of our life and they simply happen between people. But has it ever happen to you to feel constantly misunderstood? When  we are teenagers we often go across situations making us thinking like “my parents/ teachers/ friends don’t understand me”. But sometimes this kind of situations can extend in adult life, between partners, colleagues at work… and they can be absolutely exhausting, a sort of “energy drainage”.

Especially when the misunderstanding is quite big and involving more people or someone very close to us, we can really feel alone. No way to let them accept our point of view, vision, dream, intention…

What to do?

First of all, understand yourself

Put frustration and anger on a side for a minute, stop thinking about them and think about you. Is the reason of the misunderstanding worth it? Is it something it’s not possible to adjust without you to suffer or to feel bad?

Think about it and understand what is important for you, what makes you truly happy: what you think, what they suggest or a compromise between the two, if possible.

Take your time and once you got it go to the next step.

Second, understand them.

When you are a warrior in the middle of a battle few things make the difference between victory and defeat, one of them is how much you know who is fighting against you.

If someone is putting obstacles in your way you need to understand what is pushing him/her to do it, what he/she is afraid of. You know your reason, now understand their own. Is it fear of the different? Is it anger, envy, lack of communication or all these reasons togheter?

Knowing it helps you to make up your mind about what to do on the next step.

Fight or fly

Is it necessary to spend your time and energy trying to undo a knot?

If you know that your reason is good, and you cannot do differently than going through misunderstandings to reach your purpose, then go on. Otherwise leave it, make your life lighter, don’t spend one more second waisting yourself.

If you are not that lucky then here are my tips:

– Communicate effectively. Make them understand your position fully and don’t make any omission. Be clear and simple in your language and give a tone of determination to your voice.

-Anger is your real enemy. If someone sees you angry he/she will automatically think you are showing weakness . Stay calm, your reason is strong enough to justify the fight.

-Take your time, it’s not a one day job. Be patient and once you are not fighting take your tensions away. Relax, do something you like, go to your supporters, to your favourite place…

– Don’t be destructive with yourself if something doesn’t go right. You may have some up and downs simply because you are human, not a fighting machine. Respect your moments of defeat and take them as a lesson for the next time. Recollect your energies and remember: the war is much bigger than a battle and you are more self confident of your reason than them.

Be wise enough to understand when to fight and to encourage yourself when you need. In the end everything is going to be fine.

With love.

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