I don’t take seriously who says to be jealous of my age.
I know what they mean: I have a lot of energy, my face does not have a single wrinkle and hopefully I am going to live many years to come…
Envy is like the glasses making you see everything good and perfect when it belongs to others and everything bad, miserable and unbearable when it belongs to yourself, hiding all the shades and “behind the scenes” in your eyes.
They make you blind and, perhaps, even forgetful.
Yes, because I cannot believe you were not struggling at my age.
Unless you were “lucky” enough to have someone else fighting for your present and your future and you haven’t had any kind of complex about what to do, who to be and how to be.
I rather think you are forgetful though: as the majority of us, you see more shit in the present than in your past, building castles and maybe worrying about the future.
If this is the case, this post will remind you something lost in your memory…
Being in your twenties means to be an adult child, with many things to learn regarding “how it works” and how to manage with all the expectations and criticisms, from others and yourself.
You are in your life like the chef’s hands in the paste, working hard and hoping the result will be worth it. You may doubt the way you knead, the ingredients and the doses, thinking about many different alternatives you could have chosen to have a better result.
You simply did not expect everything you do can create something and destroy something else, and all the choices to take can blow up your mind.
The moment is critical, the tips are too many, and that side of you does not stop dreaming and suggesting you different ideas.
This is actually the other side of the freedom no one was expecting to face.
You are there like a fawn who is learning how to stand up on his fragile legs and run, far away from the predators and closer to the dreams.
The time flows. This is so unbelievable.
Every day being afraid of wasting time and opportunities and unsure one which one would be the correct time and which one the correct opportunity.
Day after day you start see dowels you haven’t picked up on the previous day, you collect them, put them together patiently, and still you see there is that huge empty space of the puzzle to fill up.
There are no enough words to describe the anxiety of the bad days, the impression everything you did was wrong and your contribution is not that useful after all.
Because, maybe, who is “experienced” knows and does better than you do.
Because it’s not possible to stop the time, breath in, understand what’s happening. Everything needs to be done in rush and you need to be productive anytime.
So, my friend, this is our wonderful mountain and you are here staring at it. We are just on the other side, climbing, falling on our knees, trying not to look down.
Hopefully we are going to reach the place where you are, but you won’t be there waiting for us.