The most difficult thing to say is “no” because nobody will like it.
As I have grown up as a kind and lovely girl, it was even more difficult for me: “yes” has always been my comfort zone, the answer everyone has always expected me to give.
Yes is welcoming and warm as a guest opening the front door of his home for you, letting you in the living room, offering biscuits and tea. No is cold like the air moved by the door when it bangs loud just in front of your face.
No is unpleasant for who receive it and even for who says it.
Despite of that, something has changed: I decided to say more “no”, to protect myself.
I felt like an elastic about to be broken, so thin and threadbare, and I just thought I didn’t deserve it.
The “no” can be a liberation: closing the door when necessary means you are the one who decides who and what can be let in.
And I decided: no one will be allowed to hurt me anymore.
Being woman will let me catch new opportunities, experience the joy of new adventures. Never ever it will mean I will be easy and compliant about others taking advantage on me.
The “no” means to play with my rules, to make my story and to save precious time for good purposes.
I can be rigid or selfish in your eyes, or even unpleasant and unwanted. You could leave me alone for my “no”.
I don’t care. I stopped caring.
It does not mean I don’t have an open heart: mine one is now a selective open heart, and this will be my safety.
It’s myself who I need to protect first, and your poor hurt feelings can cry somewhere far from me. You haven’t had any care to save mine ones, and, in the end, this is all I need to know.
As always, with love.